Reasons I blog
The main reason I have finally given in to blogging publicaly is the same reason I started privately 6 years ago.
I wanted a somewhat accurate record of my thoughts. It’s sad that in a way negativity has caused me to blog but it is true. When I started my personal blog 6 years ago it’s because I was on the edge of my divorce and had realized I had done very little self reflection which caused me to make life decisions that were not core to my state of being. I wanted a more accurate reflection of self for my self and I wanted my friends perspectives to help keep me balanced. Livejournal (Brad Fitzpatrick) – thank you so much for providing that!
I have watched my concepts and ideas be misunderstood most of my life. Sometimes I have had them understood too well and used for bad reasons. So this year I have committed myself to blogging more. One thing that makes it hard to blog professionally is that I do not consider myself by any stretch of the imagination to be a writer. I am a talker. I have always been a talker (I can SEE some of y’all nodding to this right now!) I am afraid of being judged for my writing…
It’s hard the part of my identity that I am the most attached to is “Silona is smart.” And I hate doing anything that could possibly negatively effect that outcome. It is way I held back on wikis at first and putting up incomplete work for fear of looking “dumb” or just simply “not as smart as I thought she was…”
But then I found people misremembering what I said. Especially in regards to my transparent legislation project that I designed in 2004. And that has made me very unhappy. I came up with the idea of documenting things on a paragraph by paragraph level using a unique identifier back then. I came up with having atomic pieces of data that I could use the “connect the dots” tool on. I can even tell you what specifically inspired me (theyworkforyou.com in 2004.) I had the idea of creating a free open source social network that i could give away to all the NPO’s so they could create a mesh network of credible identities so that you could trust that paragraph level documentation and the connections made btn those pieces of data.
And yet… i have convios with people that I talked with that had decided what I was creating 6 yrs ago was a “calendar tool.” That makes me very sad. True, I did have Brandi Clark’s Ecowise Network that wanted a calendar tool (though could fit on the mesh net) at a codeathon in 2006 but was not even a serious end goal of mine.
So here I am at a crux point. I am considering moving out of open government and into Open Banking. I have a business plan from two and half years ago on how I want to kill FICO and I am creating a list of open banking best practices. Perhaps even create a new bank… it’s a big dream. But that is always the way I have done it. For good or bad. I did dream up and do a demo of the Voter Vault in 94-96. I am not even going to mention the gaming ideas… I did envision in 2004-05 some of the pieces of transparent government that are being put into place now. Back then I can’t tell you how many times people told me I was insane this was the year Bush became pres for the second time.
So here I go again. Come join me on the ride?
If you are – let me know you are here? that was the best part of LiveJournal – all my friends’ input inspired me to keep up with writing… even if your note is just a “hey nifty”
June 26th, 2009 at 11:56 am
I recently just found you via twitter but I like the way you think and I look forward to reading more of your thoughts in the future. When you’re on the edge, usually only a very few really understand what it is your doing and what potential it holds. As for looking stupid, embrace it, I have. It is the best stance from an intellectual investment standpoint, you get to ask all the really wacky and deep questions. I’ve always said I’d rather be the dumbest person in the room rather than the smartest. Smart and dumb are situation and temporal anyways. Just always be learning. Cheers
June 26th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
>>>> “So here I go again. Come join me on the ride?”
I call shotgun!!
June 26th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
I think I’ve also struggled with the hesitation to publish what I consider to be “incomplete” work. Although I’ve always been a big supporter of open source software, a decade ago all my activity was contributing little bits and pieces to existing projects. Behind the scenes, I was always creating software of all kinds, just for me.
I slowly came around to the idea of publishing most of my code out there for everybody to see. The Coding Horror blog post Yes, But What Have You *Done*? has helped to reinforce this goal. I no longer am worried about what people will think when they see my code; the point is I did it and they’re reading it.
The best thing you can do for an idea is set it free. If you have an idea but never tell anybody, it will have very little chance to grow.
June 26th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
most people who identify as writers don’t even write. i think you can take courage in your writing efforts precisely in the fact that you do not identify as a writer. i am here.
June 28th, 2009 at 11:26 am
thank you!!!!
and thanks for the link Greg – Closing is something I definitely need to be doing more of!