Reasons I blog

The main reason I have finally given in to blogging publicaly is the same reason I started privately 6 years ago.

I wanted a somewhat accurate record of my thoughts.  It’s sad that in a way negativity has caused me to blog but it is true.  When I started my personal blog 6 years ago it’s because I was on the edge of my divorce and had realized I had done very little self reflection which caused me to make life decisions that were not core to my state of being.  I wanted a more accurate reflection of self for my self and I wanted my friends perspectives to help keep me balanced.  Livejournal (Brad Fitzpatrick) – thank you so much for providing that!

I have watched my concepts and ideas be misunderstood most of my life.  Sometimes I have had them understood too well and used for bad reasons.  So this year I have committed myself to blogging more.  One thing that makes it hard to blog professionally is that I do not consider myself by any stretch of the imagination to be a writer.  I am a talker.  I have always been a talker (I can SEE some of y’all nodding to this right now!)  I am afraid of being judged for my writing…

It’s hard the part of my identity that I am the most attached to is “Silona is smart.”  And I hate doing anything that could possibly negatively effect that outcome.  It is way I held back on wikis at first and putting up incomplete work for fear of looking “dumb”  or just simply “not as smart as I thought she was…”

But then I found people misremembering what I said.  Especially in regards to my transparent legislation project that I designed in 2004.  And that has made me very unhappy.  I came up with the idea of documenting things on a paragraph by paragraph level using a unique identifier back then.  I came up with having atomic pieces of data that I could use the “connect the dots” tool on.  I can even tell you what specifically inspired me ( in 2004.)  I had the idea of creating a free open source social network that i could give away to all the NPO’s so they could create a mesh network of credible identities so that you could trust that paragraph level documentation and the connections made btn those pieces of data.

And yet… i have convios with people that I talked with that had decided what I was creating 6 yrs ago was a “calendar tool.”  That makes me very sad.  True, I did have Brandi Clark’s Ecowise Network that wanted a calendar tool (though could fit on the mesh net) at a codeathon in 2006 but was not even a serious end goal of mine.

So here I am at a crux point.  I am considering moving out of open government and into Open Banking.  I have a business plan from two and half years ago on how I want to kill FICO and I am creating a list of open banking best practices.  Perhaps even create a new bank…  it’s a big dream.  But that is always the way I have done it.  For good or bad.  I did dream up and do a demo of the Voter Vault in 94-96.  I am not even going to mention the gaming ideas… I did envision in 2004-05 some of the pieces of transparent government that are being put into place now.  Back then I can’t tell you how many times people told me I was insane this was the year Bush became pres for the second time.

So here I go again.  Come join me on the ride?

If you are – let me know you are here?  that was the best part of LiveJournal – all my friends’ input inspired me to keep up with writing…  even if your note is just a “hey nifty”