please ask questions

I have a dilemma…

You see communication is always an imperfect thing amoung humans… and it gets worse the more complex the concepts become.  I live in a world of complex topics.

Once upon a time, I did the geek thing and would basically interview people before talking to them on a topic.  It told me where they were at and I could then talk to them on a level they would understand.  But I was told that when I did that I was “intimidating.”  So I (mostly) stopped. I still do it when comfortable in a geeky situation.  Honestly it is my default setting…

So then, I tried not to assume and defined everything… I was told it was slow, boring and by some condescending .  I mean how could I assumed they didn’t know what that meant.  Whoops not my intention at all!

So then, I just talked.  But now people say I am confusing, intimidating and condescending.  Mainly this interpretation seems to be by one type of person however… those that are afraid to ask questions.  I guess the fear of asking questions says something about one’s mindset at the start.  I plead with you to break that mindset!

There is no such thing as a stupid question.  Some times questions are poorly asked… but all that is indicated to me is a lack of common background or vocabulary.  That does NOT mean stupidity.   it doesn’t even mean lack of knowledge.  It means lack of common knowledge.

The only thing that can be stupid about question asking is if you weren’t ATTEMPTING to listen in the first place.  Which honestly is more rare than you think… else why ask? (yes yes a few people like the sound of their voice – give them affirmation and they’ll be fine.)

SO Please ask me questions, it helps me better communicate with you.  That is my goal – else why would I talk to you?  I have so many things to be doing.  If I am talking to you – you are important to me.  I most often see the failure to communicate properly is my own or because we lack common vocabulary. I need to talk in a way that you can understand but you also have to give me feedback to make it worth your while.  Honestly, by not asking questions… you do yourself a disservice.

For example, The issue I am dealing w most right now is I don’t have a better phrase for my “Federated” Social network – geeks keep thinking “federation” which is something very specific to certain protocols.  However I MEAN ”

To cause to join into a league, federal union, or similar association.
to league, ally, associate…

ie the Definition in the Dictionary.

But I have no control over others vocabulary hence me occasionally making up words like “citability.” I am luckly because if people see it written they have an inherent understand of what is MIGHT mean and because it is made up they have no fear of asking what it does mean!

get past fear!  ask questions!