Magic of perspective
I hope by doing this experiment I will create a more positive perspective of the world. When I was in India, my perspective shifted widely and often. I would flow back and forth from loving the vitality and strength of the Indian people in the face of extreme hardship to hating the chaos, pollution and competitiveness.
I believe to succeed at my work I need to love humanity. I sometimes feel like LeeLoo in the 5th Element where I have to be reminded why I want to save the world. When I am in that space and being in love with the patterns of the universe is when I am happiest and feel that sense of wellbeing. You know that feeling – I used to achieve it when I believed in religion.
But I do feel that this is like dancing was for me. At first, I was just good at it. But to be great at it, I had to take some steps back and dissect it. I had to be conscious so that I could be consciously great instead of unconsciously good. Unfortunately becoming conscious means I suddenly became awkward. That was extremely hard on my ego. But if I practice enough, I can again become unconsciously good with the ability to become conscious and great when I need to learn something new.
India made me stumble, trip and fall… All the poverty, dirt, scrambling, competitiveness made me awkward. I felt both bad for them as well as in fear of them. Americans are so very soft. And I got taken advantage of often. But while I was there I kept myself up with the power of perspective. I did not allow that to crumble until I was leaving. I then had to process and now pulling myself out of it. I can enjoy the fun I had in India again.
Now the aspect to happiness in this… This process is good! i need to acknowledge that. I also need to allow myself to be unhappy to stumble while I process. So that I can get back to being happy again.
Key here – forgive yourself for disliking and being afraid of something. You can love something at the same time you see it’s flaws. it’s okay. perfection is a myth. Don’t expect them to be perfect or yourself.
December 22nd, 2009 at 11:28 am
If you ever happen to plan a visit to say Burma or Iran or Saudi or Sudan or Zimbabwe or any country in Africa for that matter, take someone along, lest you pass out
December 22nd, 2009 at 7:45 pm
um the stumble and such is a metaphor
I stumbled in regards to staying positive and keeping a positive perspective.
but yes I will take others with me – simply because I am a woman – visiting those countries.
December 23rd, 2009 at 3:54 am
I understand very well, what you meant.
When thousands of Indian students go to US for higher studies each year, they generally experience, what we call, the culture shock. Something similar to what you had. Although not so much these days, given the number of Indian residing in US. US has become a second home to Indians.
I understand places can piss you off, but don’t understand why you need to hate the people who are worse off.
In my comment, what I meant was, there are nastier places where a number of things, which I will not cite, can “literally” and “metaphorically” pass you out (or even me for that matter)
Had you not had such a soft heart, I would have recommended you a beautiful Patrick Swayze movie (although centered around India, doesn’t necessarily depict all of it) which makes you fell disgusted and passionate about life at the same time. And also a book by Gregory David Roberts (a true story of an Australian who discovers secret facets of India and makes it his home)
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:31 am
I never said I hated the Indian people.
I said “hating the chaos, pollution and competitiveness.”
I can also dislike certain generalized aspects of america too… Doesn’t mean I don’t love my country and its people… that is the point of this post.
I even speak of it as having a similar issue with myself that I need to forgive my own internal flaws as well.
look deeper in regards to the entire purpose of this post – it was not about India. it was about perspective and perfection and acceptance.