I think much of this has to do with filters and judgment. When we get closer to people, we decide that we “know” them and we project much of ourselves on to them.
Often times, when we do this we limit people with baggage. Sometimes we create self fulfilling prophecies even.
My favorite example, how many times does a parent expect you to act like a 12 yr old and even though you promised yourself you wouldn’t yell at her like a 12 yr old – you find yourself doing it?
With any normal person this would never occur… And it would certainly not occur with a random stranger. But for some reason, we are able to give better suggestions and often be better people with strangers. Time to lose both the amount of projection of self we give to good friends. I think is slows down the grey matter. Instead of coming up with solutions instead it just accesses memories both positive and negative rather than looking for novel solutions…
I think I will steal from my happiness post earlier and try to short circuit my neural circuitry when that happens by some physical trick of existing in the now and maybe reroute that neural pathway.